Your mind matters

Being world mental health day and having been witness to the effects of mental health and deal with anxiety myself, I felt it important to send a little message to those who wish to listen.

Coming to London I kept telling myself that my anxiety was going to take a backseat and I was going to enjoy every bit of my time here, no ridiculous made up worries involved. And I know that's not how it works, but I was determined. Still am. This semester has been the toughest, but most beneficial for me I think when it comes to dealing with being anxious. I keep telling myself "I'm only here for four months, I have to take advantage of everything I possibly can." "I'm probably never going to see any of these people again so who cares what they think of me" While those mental conversations obviously don't take the anxious thoughts and worries away, they have really helped push me to take the baby steps.

Getting on a plane to London at all was a huge step for me, so I'm not going to just stop there. Transportation is a main trigger for me, so the thought of traveling around Europe scared the crap out of me no matter how much I want to go places. After a month here, I am now able to ride the tube by myself without freaking out about getting lost. Taking a train to different countries has been a success, even though getting past security and passport control is still difficult for me. I haven't had the chance to fly anywhere since landing, but in a weeks time I'll be getting a lot of practice in and hopefully feel more comfortable with it. I have gone out to pubs and other friends apartments when everyone else has gone, which put me in social situations I'd otherwise avoid. But if I had just stayed in and watched netflix alone, I would have missed out on great friendships and memories that have been made from those nights. On the other hand, it came to a point where I realized I wasn't giving myself enough me-time. As an introvert as well, being around people all the time is draining. Add that to 6 hours of class a day and living with 5 people, sharing a room with 2 others. I had to remind myself that it's okay to lay in bed, put headphones in and watch netflix for the night. Nothing wrong with that. To outsiders it may still seem like I am not as social or enthusiastic or energetic or whatever it may be. But I know that I have pushed myself to do more than I usually would to try and get past those anxieties that keep me from fully enjoying myself. And that's all that matters to me.

So what I want to say to whoever is listening is this. So many people deal with mental health whether it's struggling with it personally or being close to someone who has or is struggling with it. And here's the thing, it's different for every single one of us. Just because someone doesn't get a panic attack every 10 minutes doesn't mean they don't get anxious. Just because someone smiles and laughs all the time doesn't mean they aren't depressed. And just because someone doesn't talk about it doesn't mean they don't wish they could. All the stereotypes and judgements of people who deal with mental health are ridiculous.

If you need to talk to someone, then talk.

If you need a night to yourself, take it.

If you notice a friend isn't being themselves, be there.

Everyone's mind is important. Everyone's mind matters.

So for those who need to hear it,

Your mind matters. You matter. Breathe. Take some time for yourself. I love you and you're doing great.